chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
