I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize