he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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