He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
