Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
