farters have to be the big spoon...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
