woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
