Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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