Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
