How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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