hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
