i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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