She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She bit a glass in half.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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