We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
