small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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You slept on a pillow of digiorno
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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