I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
