Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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