1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
