Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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