..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
