Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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