That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
