It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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