im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize