i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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