I want to have your abortion
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
