Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
