don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
