If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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