saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think I am morally bankrupt
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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