ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
