week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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