apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
