I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize