i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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