so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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