I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize