What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
