we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
