she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
