I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
