all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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