she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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