It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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