Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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