About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
