Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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