I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
