I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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