I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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