i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
