IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
