how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
