if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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