If that was your dad, he is hot
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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