I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
