I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I didn't notice because vodka
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
