Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
