Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
