So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
