For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is wine microwaveable?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The uberlube is also flammable
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
